The Adventures of A Simple Man

Writing a daily column in a generic English paper isn't the most honorable job, but it does provide enough income for this simple man to go on adventures. During one such assignment, I contacted my friend with the very long name who is not very tall. What was her name again? If it weren't for my habit of remembering weird things about people, I might actually take the effort to remember their names instead of giving them mocking nicknames. Ah, but I think that’s a story for another time. What I wanted to share now were her words, which go like this: "I don’t have any right to bring improvement to any poem, good or bad, because according to me, poetry is made reckless… full of errors so that the world can learn from it!" I like how these writers imagine the world. They are funny people because they have the celestial power to blur reality between the lines of their work, yet a simple question can bring a turmoil of dilemma to them. I, luckily, happen to know one such d...

It is not very rare that I have a problem with someone or something, but you know what, sometimes it is not the problem that I have, sometimes it's just my pure genuine sense of hatred. Very few people have deeds so great to hold a feeling so genuine. Of course, how can I not mention our honorable electricity department for accomplishing something so genuine (hatred of course but still genuine). I would sing you tales of their tiresome deeds but of course, I don't have to do that troublesome task since every single man in this country holds a grudge against them for some or the other reason. Oh God!! I forgot I had a column to write but how can somebody do something in this house, I yawped. Just because the lights are down and you have work pending does not mean you can take the entire house on your head, cleared the horrifying eyes in the utter silence. Well, my belief that the darkness could make my sister less scary was not so right, I guess. If only it was not for my carefu...

There I was gulping down my fourth cup of tea in my dear cozy room wondering what to pour on these blank pages of mine. While, of course, I was being subjected to the fierce look of the demonly creature by the door. Well some you might say she is my sister. But my lord, the justice, I beg to differ, as I call it a gentle difference between thoughts of humanity.  If you do not mind this dramatic accent of mind and the scary looks of the demon, I may now peacefully listen to the screams of news anchors as they provide the most senseless things. Just like this time, they are there screaming their throats out of this chef who made a new dish which is apparently a masterpiece. Well I would have solved the debate, had I any knowledge of lavishly decorated expensive cuisine, but that brings my mind to another masterpiece, or as some of you may say A Legendary Masterpiece 

Adventures—what a fascinating word, isn’t it? It refuses to be confined by the boundaries of mankind. What was once a mere curiosity became mankind’s mission.From the barren lands of Sahara to the dense forests of Amazon, from the Pacific Ring of Fire to the chilling lands of Antarctic, from the unwandered lands to uncharted seas, We conquered it all. There remains, nothing adventurable except those of this Simple Man. What's so adventurous about this Simple Man? Well, everything! For I am not a typical adventurer, I am the chief editor of a generic English newspaper. You see I would not have became an adventurer to begin with, if my dear sister (whom I will now refer as demonly creature) had not suggested that I must do something about my handwriting, but how can I? I am a doctor by degree. That doesn't have anything to do with my adventure, I just like to show off. Anyways, skipping the reasons and questions, I present to you my perplexing and intriguing view, which may elud...